Captain Torture from Zero Dark Thirty and Commissioner Gordon versus a Gollum led army of apes count me in. I’m they’ll shove in some hippy subplot about how the apes are people too, but there is nothing wrong with a blockbuster with a little brains behind it. I’d say that Rise did that very well so I am willing to give this one the benefit of the doubt.
If you haven’t seen the Nic Cage classic that is Stolen I suggest you remedy that right now. His daughter gets stolen and so he gets sucked back into his old life as a bad ass to get her back. So yeah it is pretty much just Taken except the bad guy is Josh Lucas with long blonde hair and a peg leg, and that isn’t even the most ridiculous thing that happens. It is one of the most ridiculously hilarious movies I have ever seen, and Rage looks like the exact same movie but with Danny Glover thrown in for the hell of it. It looks like fans of cheesy B movies with camp coming out of the ears are in for a treat. Or it will be the bad kind of bad, but its hard to be excited for that huh.
I almost didn’t post the trailer just cause of how bad that looked. I know its directed by Lucifer’s own Brett Ratner, forever cursed be his name, and yeah the CGI is bad, and the writing sounds even worse. But it is a Hercules movie about his labors with the goddamned Rock. That has to be like the most perfect thing ever. How awesome could the Rock beating the shit out of mythological creatures with a friggin club. I mean if you aren’t at least looking forward to that what is the point of living in this world anymore. That could be a truly transcendent experience, or it could just be really bad, yeah probably gonna be bad.
I wasn’t the biggest fan of the first Sin City, but I am sucker for weird art style and noir so I have to admit I’ll end up seeing this movie. Its got a cast worth throwing on a cardboard stand up poster with heavy hitters like JGL, Josh Brolin, Mickey Rourke and Eva Green especially who always loves getting naked and chewing scenery. So at the very least we will have that to look forward too.
That right there is one of my favorite trailers in a long time. Look at all the action, Look at all the adventure, look at all the moxy. What could be better than a puckish rogue in space banging green chicks and hanging out with talking trees. I couldn’t think of anything either. It is like a checklist of cool space shit, carbon copy of Han Solo; check, stoic tough guy alien; check, alien chick that looks human enough to still be treated as a sex object; check, and all of that thrown into a pot of comic book craziness and Disney money. That alone makes it my most anticipated movie of the summer. Not to mention it is directed by James Gunn, the guy who made Super which went way darker than I expected maybe too dark, so who the hell knows what might happen. Either way it has been too damned long since somebody just went flying around in space.
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